The Color of Light

There are certain memories that will never fade from this memory of mine. They will always stay there to be revisited and opened again and again. Those moments that are captured in this memory are ones that made a paramount stance in my life. Even though they are far and few between in recent past, I treasure them when they do come around. Which happily is more often now that I've found a special someone. Thee special someone. That one, for me. Perhaps it's too early to give him that much credit, but I can't help that he feels so right. Give me memories and moments that could make the beautiful color of light real.

Mindless

This fortress wrapped around this heart. These words that turned these little girl dreams into those big girl problems. That smile that is forced to be spread across these lips of these lies to be told. Those lies we choose to allow those we love to believe. The want versus need. The good battles evil. The control fights the chaos. The balance. The equality. The peace. There was never a way.

This Digital World

Remember when things were so beautiful you wish you had something to take a picture? Then we got cameras and they just can't seem to be able to capture the moment just right. The picture doesn't do the true, authentic beauty any justice. Then conversely, when you show a picture of someone who doesn't look "picture perfect" so you quickly explain it doesn't do that person any justice? Everything seems to be done in a second hand matter. How we receive news, how we communicate, break up with someone, ask someone out, how we get to know someone. What's next proposing to someone? What happened to the real, true, beauty in the moments that cannot be captured. That only the ones experiencing will understand how fucking incredible it was. It seems as though the technology undermines the moment. Making it hopeful it could happen again because we can look at it right whenever we choose. Reliving it again and again until it becomes dull. Faded. Exposed. Forgotten.

Don't you realize, we are all on the same team?

Here I am. Trying to be the person I want to be while growing into the person I am supposed to be. The two can't meet, at least not here, for damn sure not now. Consider in my mind the ultimate place for a bachelor pad. Potential interests coming and going, merely sparking my attention never creating fire. Like clouds coming and going unnoticed. I want to stay in the same spot forever, alone, by myself, until I can put everything together. Am I living without a pulse? Seeing without sight? Hearing without sound? These vitals don't mean much for the dead. Walking half alive, I'm walking dead. I scream to myself to wake up, but these moments slip through my fingers as if I were trying to hold air. But it's the same damn principle, nothing is really
   there.

Tell me somethin', cause I've been tryin to work it out.

Say what's missing here. This can't be it, there has to be something more than freshly expelled tears. Hold me sweet, forgive me the woes that disturb you when you sleep. Hold me close, for I am small.


I can't help but fucking see through it all.