High School is...

Bullshit, horse shit, human shit, and dog shit. All mixed together to create a puree of worthless (shit) lessons, meaningless assignments, shallow judgements and freshmen.

Go pessimism!

College is...

Expensive, frustrating, tedious, confusing, time consuming and the only thing that gets me through everyday of high school.

Blah blah blah

Love and relationships are something that is born from time, patience, and hard work when you have one worth fighting for. While the wait is what matters, it also can be the hardest time for those of you who have, “never been kissed”. Day dreaming never ceases to be endless, and the hopes of ever meeting “the one” seem to become smaller and smaller. Love is far from a logical thing. Completely the right side of your brain. There is a component that every small relationship needs, fire. It does seem if the spark is never there, it leads to a friendship.

Don’t get me wrong, single can be wonderful. But there is never that security that would come from being in a relationship. That person you can turn to when you don’t want to turn to anyone else. The ability to build up, instead of always starting from scratch. It is being able to have someone to rely on to be there at your worst. Someone to appreciate you at your best, but most of all having someone who wants to be there for you.

I don’t know if it is the support that would come from being in a relationship, or allowing the walls to finally be let down for someone, that intrigues me. It sucks at times, always having to make a good impression. Thinking every guy could be it. The person I can settle down with and have a long deep pleasurable relationship with. It’s hard not to try and see myself with every guy I am remotely interested in. Thinking ahead to what our lives would be like if we were to fall in love.

I got over always asking the question of, when, and the insecurities of doubt, but now I am more along the lines of, who. I am still trying to let go of trying so hard to make it happen, and rather let myself be open to whoever wants to come in. Focusing on myself to be interesting, independent, and stable. I want to have a satisfying relationship, for both myself, and whoever my partner may be.

The waiting has made me more patient and less consumed of the idea of when it is going to happen. I believe when the time is right it will happen. Until than, doing me is the only thing I can do. Should do. As for my biological perspective on relationships, it is a little bit more difficult at times. Especially when I get with someone who does it well. But it is not just the sex that I want, but that person to open up and be sexual with. Instead of having to pick and choose who to text, just to know I want to text him. I want to share feelings with someone, have it be ours, instead of just mine. While it is still fun to be with other people, there is always the nagging thought that I want it to be with just one special person. Someone I can grow with. So I am wondering, when will it be right?

Over-Fu*ked

The thing about trends is they come on so gradually, that when you actually realize what is happening you feel some what hood winked. Like waking up so unfortunately early in the morning, that you must squint your eyes to keep from being blinded by light. I am being blinded by the reality that our culture is over-sexualized. I must squint to remember how the way used to be. When music was about heart-break, or having your first kiss, maybe even keeping a "dirty little secret". Fast forwarding to now where every other word is about exploiting a woman, and than drinking to the conquered quest. Being a single girl in this society, I'm beginning to realize how backwards building an intimate relationship has become. The sex, on average, comes before the relationship does. UMM? Did, or did it not, used to be that sex was something that was anticipated to happen well after the relationship had begun? It is sad to know that the words: slut, whore, bitch, douche, douche bag, cunt and dick are used to describe each other. They are becoming so common they are basically integrated into our language and conversations on the daily. Not to mention that guys are applauded for, "getting some ass". Yeah, well that ass, isn't a donkey, your talking about another human being. What happened to relationships being based, not off of how good the sex is, but rather the feelings of admiration for the person. To me, this over sexualized society is bringing on a new era of prejudice. Men and women are to blame, media, and other industries as well. However, only you can stop yourself from being over-fuc*ked.

Life is all about Perception.

Your senses help you understand the world that is around you. Your perceptions are your interpretations of the information you gather from your senses. When it comes to people there is always more to know than what your senses can gather. We all have a long history that trails behind us like a beaten path. Try taking a moment to be equal with someone. Minus the societal boundaries and just listen to what each other has to say. Actually get to know someone before summing them up in one look. You might be surprised at whats below the surface. And you might make a friend who becomes something more than expected. After all, is it really that hard?

Dying is always bad.

Being a spontaneous type of gal, and having a serious case of roots, I decided to swing by the local Walmart and purchase some cheap hair die. Well, that's where I went wrong. Cheap=cheap looking. My subconscious was trying to redirect me the entire time, but of course, I was over powered by the sense of instant gratification. Now I am sitting here, with tears streaking down my face which match the streaks of the tinted orange/blondish hair I now have. Can you say cheap bimbo whore? Here I come Colfax.